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So, of course, I'm constantly tempted to be naked at inappropriate moments. I'll convince myself that whipping it out is the end-all-be-all answer to certain problems.

When my self-esteem takes a hit, it hides between my legs. Get turned down for coffee? If only she'd known about the stir-stick.

How impressive is that guy's six-pack? I bet he's only got a six-inch. Denying my atavistic urges creates a lot of stress. Even if someone finds out in the most ideal way — having sex with me — I get weirded out if she says anything about my cock outside of coitus.

At my craziest, I fear that hearing it too many times will subconsciously turn me into a man content to let his fairer attributes wither away, left with the unearned sense of entitlement a titanic trouser trunk bestows.

In my day-to-day, I get by pretty well. I take time to get to know my partners inside and out before going Dirk Diggler on them.

My underpants are supportive and affordable. I've learned to limit my onanism. I have even learned to accept compliments gracefully.

Looking at it this way I can appreciate how my penis has helped me. I'm more self-aware than I'd be if I'd been graced with an average member.

OK, in all honesty, I don't hate my big penis. I just hate what having a big penis means to everyone else. This post originally appeared on The Good Men Project.

Republished with permission. Want to see your work here? Email us! Mythbusting Bisexual Men. No not really God, it's me again and yes this is the same one-sided conversation that we've had for the past 20 years.

But this time I'm serious. We really need to talk. You see, I just read this article about this guy and his giant "dong" and how it causes him "problems".

Not the "Is that it? No seriously.. You blessed me with an oversized intellect and abs that would make Baby Jesus cry but you coupled those gifts with a joke of a penis that would make the Virgin Mary point and laugh and cry and laugh some more.

I mean, I don't even know if it's fair to call what I have a penis let alone a "dong". It looks like a lightswitch in rural India.

You should know. You built the place. Or forsook it. At this point, who really fucking knows what goes through your head.

God, all I'm saying is you've really got your priorities all fucked up. Probably fucking not. Which means that his giant dingaling genes may be passed on but what else?

Oh yeah, and that's another thing! Not ONLY did you give me a shrinky dink for a penis but you decided that wasn't cruel enough.

Oh no! You also decided that I should have the sexual stamina of In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says.

Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority.

Take something as simple as riding a bike. I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance. For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head.

Recently, Jordan has instituted a 3-month, no-sex rule. I want a chick who wants to be with me for the right reasons. While Jordan is looking for love, the newly unemployed Falcon is looking for work—but his manhood is getting in the way.

Falcon is a budding actor who wades through desk jobs to pay the bills. If I do porn, that's the end.

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He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out. Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring.

Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun.

John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement.

His manager claimed he was Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? Link NSFW. This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in , his friends joked about his size.

Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs , but pounds is cock.

Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano.

A classical pianist! James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm. Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous.

So, years ago, I devoted my entire existence to sexual conquest. It's pretty common, particularly for gay meth addicts, to just obsessively cycle through one hookup to the next, trying to stay high and get more sex.

As a general bottom with storied experience with the D, I figured that I was up for any challenge. I was a professional, so I thought. I meet a fellow on Adam4Adam who claims to have a footlong penis.

I think it's bullshit: I know that most penises online are around eight inches and in reality they're more like six. So, I'm guessing that this guy is just exaggerating to try to rope in hungry bottoms.

I figure, at best, he's nine inches and just exaggerating. Male ego and all that. So I invite him over. You good? Something like that.

He very clearly asked me if I could really take it. I confidently invited him over. I got really high, and I was half expecting him not to show up based upon the fact that he was advertising something so ridiculously over-the-top.

He did, in fact, show up. He's scrawny, like 5'9", maybe pounds soaking wet. I'm like, Well, the proportion would make an average dick look huge anyway, so that probably helps him too.

He tells me to start sucking his dick. It flops out. It's incredibly large flaccid — like nearly actual inches.

I'm ecstatic. It's clear that he's hung. So, I'm working on this thing and it just gets bigger. And bigger. Finally, he's like, "Lemme get dat ass.

He wasn't exaggerating. The thing was a solid foot long, like as long as my ulna. Its thickness was proportionate too, meaning it was like a goddamned soda can almost, but not quite.

I tell him I need to ride it to get used to it; he agrees. So, there I am, straddling this scrawny guy with this humungous penis.

I couldn't even get the head in. Bear in mind that I'm high as balls on meth again, I'm in recovery. We tried for about 10 minutes.

He started getting soft. I felt incredibly demoralized. He gets ready to go, grumbling really nastily the entire time, calling me a punk, a bitch, etc.

It's clear that he was very frustrated and this was a common occurrence. I was sort of scared — not that he'd rape me or anything, but that he'd beat me up.

He left. I felt incredibly demoralized, like I failed at my one primary objective. I never heard from him again. The more that I think about this, the more I think this poor guy, like, NEVER got to have intercourse because of how freakish and physically impossible it was.

Rather sad if you think about it. I slept with a guy with huge balls. The first or second time we slept together, he must have noticed me staring, because right away he was like, "Yup, those are some huge balls, aren't they?

Don't worry, though, it's cool. An ex was really concerned and made me go to the doctor about it.

He told me I was in the 99th percentile, but totally healthy. Lesson: If you're chill about your weird junk, it won't seem so weird.

OH, also, this guy was bicycle rickshaw driver rider?

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